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Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Commitment & Sacrifice

Commitment & Sacrifice
There is never a "perfect" time to exit gracefully out of an intimate relationship, for always at such a time, or the natural final curtain call​, one is never quite ready emotionally, but there is the "right" time, and that is anytime after one has realized that the relationship is not worth committing to anymore, for usually, after the natural final curtain call, one needs to garner the emotional courage, and for a lot of women financial readiness comes into play, to leave the relationship.

On deal-breakers: if one of your deal-breakers is cheating, and you have any reason to believe ​that the other has or might have chosen to do so, the "right" time is any time you choose, even if he/she has just been given a few months to live, and you don't even have to visit at the hospital or go to the funeral; your social self might want to, but your authentic self is prescient in those matters.

Commitment is not sacrifice, so don't ever conflate the two, or the other might find it too convenient to enjoy watching you sacrifice your poor self at the altar of dysfunctional relationship.

Loyalty, much like love assayed, is only viable when BOTH have taken consciously the pledge, and go on behaving in ways to reflect so.

You cannot love the brokenness out of the other, for she/he is the only​ one who can do so internally.

When folks take the till-death-do-us-part- - constructed by patriarchy, aided and put to insidious use by some religions​ to further subjugate women, in general- - vow literally, then they might also start to feel, believe, and act to reflect that it applies only to the other, and if they should choose so applied to them only at times of convenience or trickery; the other has to be loyal, committed, loving, trustworthy, in other words, a sacrificial lamb.

When you truly love yourself, then you are loved by the most important person in life.

When you have been truly loving yourself all along your life journey, then you have been loved by the most important person in life.

Most times one will never be lucky enough - - or most unlucky, depending on how one handles it - - to witness with one's own eyes the other making the beast with two backs with another; therefore, if one has an intuition of that possibility, trust that gut-feeling.

Here's a rhetorical one: why is it always the one, who was NOT putting her/his 110% into an intimate relationship, to be most upset - - and offering the "I'll try harder this time" trickery, and for the twentieth times - - when the relationship has ended finally, and way after its natural final curtain call, when you had made it clear, time and time again, to the other about your feelings of unfulfillment and the dysfunctional aspects that needed to be addressed with or/and without​ professional help?

When in an intimate relationship with another who does not communicate about its shortcomings - - all relationships have them - - and future common goals, then you don't know what the other is capable of or not; you will feel like you never had the chance to get to know the other at all, at least not intimately.

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