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Sunday, May 4, 2014

To Commit To Misery Or To Commit To Happiness

To Commit To Misery Or To Commit To Happiness

Sometimes in an intimate relationship, one may have a commitment, but a commitment to what.  What is one committing to?

I believe one may be committing, sometimes, to living in mutual misery, instead of to living in mutual happiness with the other.

And one may use all kinds of reasons--one may call them excuses--to commit to an unhappy, dysfunctional relationship :  the children, economics, "love," family, culture, and tradition.

But staying in a dysfunctional relationship may hurt the children even more in the long run by exposing them to the constant daily stresses of a bad relationship.  The insight here is that there are no guarantees in life, and in the end one makes the best decision, after weighing in the pros and cons, possible given one's stage of life.  In other words, it's all about one's level of comfort to being in a relationship that might not be meeting one's personal needs for self-actualization.

Does one sacrifice oneself in a vain attempt to find "immortality" through our children, or face our own mortality by accepting the finiteness of life, and thus the realization that one should live fully in a real authentic way?

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