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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

I Am A Resilient Work In Progress

 I Am A Resilient Work In Progress

During a dialogue with an acquaintance in a personal setting, they - - again I am by design using a neutral pronoun - - asks, "How is the soured relationship with your girlfriend affecting your mental illness?" I reflexively retorted that I am taking my psychotropic - - a missed opportunity to educate further the other on mental illness.

I said later to myself that I am not a talker, but a writer; I am much more comfortable at writing, since I know very well that I can go back and edit as many times to shape it, with pen or keyboard coupled with my imagination as anvil, just the way I need it to travel out and about the external world.

My mental illness, at this stage of my life, does not make me any less resilient than another person without a diagnosed one, if anything it has made me more resilient in many ways: the various coping skills I learned with the many cognitive behaviorists throughout the many mental collapse, relapse episodes I have had do serve me most well, when facing adversities in life; knowing that at my age - - one of the two cognitive behaviorists I was in therapy with during my last episodic relapse repeated that brilliant, scientific advise to me, until it was cliched into my DNA, and it has been flourishing within me ever since - - the chances of my becoming psychotic, at my middle age, are way less than my winning the lottery or getting struck by lightning; oh, what a wonderful boon, bestowed upon me by Goddess! Also having been blessed with much suffering as a benevolent teacher for well over five decades, as I write this, she have taught me to not focus, thus magnifying my presently perceived negative life issues, but to accept them as invariably soon turning into lessons within the various curricula of life.

I am a resilient work in progress.

Goddess bless, reader!

Monday, July 25, 2016

Truth Mirror

Truth Mirror

Therapy is a truth mirror, which, held flourishingly, reflects one's aberrant, erratic behaviors, in hopes that the unhealthy pattern, cycle will be disrupted and abandoned in favor of healthy, new ones.

The Pervasiveness of Mental Illness Stigma

The Pervasiveness of Mental Illness Stigma

The ubiquitous, sometimes subtle, but most often overt stigmatization of folks with mental illness is documented, but not well enough, I opine.

In both private and public setting I have found myself in, I often hear folks deride those with even a perceived mental health issue, especially implying that they are indeed spineless and/or insane, thus to be ostracized at all costs, with no gray areas for us to exist within.

For examples, in one public setting, someone told me that, "I was afraid of you," when you were not at your mental equilibrium - - I paraphrase here, a bit.  That same person told me at another time, "You did not like us in the past, for you never wanted to hang out with us."  I have also heard a few people speak ill of another person, in one public setting, who had a "total mental breakdown," according to their perception, by saying, again, that they were "afraid" of them -- I am by design using a neutral pronoun, here.  

Also, I must say that the "fear" of folks with a mental illness is borne of an insidious human need to classify, devalue through stigmatization, thus, in effect or, more to the point, defect, to control the behaviors and manipulate the perception, both inner and outer, of a man-made subgroup, which is made up entirely of marginalized or the less-privileged, for the rich are almost never stigmatized, but are elevated to eccentricities.

I, myself, had internalized the stigma associated with mental illness for well over three decades; I, by default, was deprogrammed through the aftermaths, and the subsequent inner need to rebuild on a healthier foundation each time, of several mental collapse, relapse episodes, of course -- and needless to say, for they are no self-made human being -- with the help of several amazing therapists and one well-matched psychotropic prescribed by a prodigious match-maker of a psychiatrist.

Stigma devalues, marginalizes, and prevents us with a mental illness -- yes, personhood well before illness, every time -- to seek mental health professional help in order to acquire the much-needed coping skills, since there is no cure, to deal with the dis-ease and all of its external, unnatural kins created by society.

Goddess bless, reader!


Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Black Trans Women and Oppression

A Black trans sister asks, on her social media page, a most pertinent question, given the cold-blooded murders of so many Black trans sisters this year: what are some of the ways the law oppresses Black trans women? (I am NOT quoting her verbatim.)

In an overt way, we all know about the insidious "bathroom bills," like HB2, and that definitely will have a greater oppressive effect on Black trans women, since our sisters are more marginalized or poorer on average, to say the least; therefore, our Black trans sisters would have a much harder time to have some of the surgeries needed to move stealth, in some cases, since they would tend to transition much later in life.
In a more subtle way, we know all too well of the hypermasculine Black man, who has been bamboozled, miseducated, and diseducated to believe the mythic and most dangerous characteristic of his "man-hood" put forth by his patriarchal masters since his birth, during and after physical slavery.
And that myth of inferiority and/or superiority has made it that the only way he can appease his master is to be a "manly" man, thus always in the "man box," as Tony Porter calls it, and so when a Black trans sister, who was assigned "male" at birth, decides to transition, he feels slighted beyond repair on behalf on his master, and must revenge his master the best way that he has been miseducated, diseducated, and that is to use his sword against her - - NO pun intended!

Goddess bless, GOogler!

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on nonviolence of spirit...


Dear GOogler,
*Nonviolence means avoiding NOT ONLY physical violence, but also internal violence of spirit. You NOT ONLY refuse to shoot a man, but you REFUSE TO HATE*. "
- -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

#nonviolence   #MartinLutherKingJr   #supportlawenforcement  #supportpoliceofficers  

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on hate, violence, toughness and the transformative power of love...

Dear GOogler,
Hate begets hate; violence begets violence; toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the power of love. "
- -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

#LOVETRANSFORMShate   #loveislove   #civilrights   #lgbtqiarights  
#lgbtqia   #discrimination   #stigma   #stereotypes   #bias  

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Accepting Human Suffering

Accepting Human Suffering

When one clearly DOES NOT want to shoulder his/her/their own suffering, the hot, crocodile tears always, with ease, flow down their cheeks to another's shoulder.

One creates more needless human suffering by NOT accepting and sitting with one's suffering in order to transform it, for the mere act of placing it at another's shoulder does not transform it in oneself at all, since the root cause(s) of the suffering is NEVER addressed, not all.


This is why it is said that being in therapy is NOT at all an easy, fun endeavor (I can attest to that as indeed a fact), for one must be ready to be most vulnerable, thus face one's own fears, or angst in life, in general; the therapist cannot do it for her patient, but can only serve as a professional guide through the journey to mental equilibrium from the dis-ease.

Goddess bless, reader!

A Savior's Complex


A Savior's Complex

Having survived - - with the help of many therapists and one psychiatrist who prescribed a most helpful psychotropic, also countless of others who inadvertently taught me to be self-reliant and resilient because of their distancing themselves from me, but also a few who tried to coax me out of isolation or what I like to call the unliving - - more than four decades with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, an umbrella term for panic attacks and depression to name a few of its insidious kins, one feels a definite sense of duty to our noble humanity, which around another who seeks to manipulate one's good intentions, consciously or not, quickly manifests itself as a Savior's complex on one's part and codependency on the other's part. A Savior's complex is indeed a form of codependency.

One must be careful to not cut the legs out from under the other as one tries, again, with good intentions, to help shoulder the other's suffering, in general.

Goddess bless, reader!

Monday, July 11, 2016

Epiphanies

Epiphanies

Each day one has to be most vigilant about whether one's heart is contracting to the darkness or expanding to the light.

Mental illness is the most insidiously skilled jewel thief, who robs, as the home alarm system sets off to a perpetual panic mode, which then evicts from the body, of peace of mind or of raison d'etre.

How one can walk around unaware of the extent the brain is not at its optimal, for the heart is divided from her.

Optimal mental health is when the brain and the heart are in wonderful Tango.

The stigma of mental illness sends one to live in micro- and macro-isolation.

When the external world stigmatizes by conceptualizing illness-before-personhood, remember that true freedom, liberation lies within.

The external world may stigmatize, but it can NEVER victimize without one's leave.

Oppression bears isolation.